Daily I try to understand myself, but I fail time and again…
This may sound silly, because how can a person not understand herself?! Well, it’s quite easy! If you know me then you will know I am confused easily, I am mostly compared to Dory from Finding Nemo [one of my favorite movies] and that comparison is very accurate, I forget easily, I get confused and mostly I just do the first thing that comes to mind.
Now I am stuck between two choices, going with my heart and writing every second of the day. Or find a job and only write when I get a chance. Both is very good choices for me, because I want money, I want to start my life. But to me living is writing. And I feel that if I work I might just forget about writing and lose a big part of my heart.
Another thing bothering me is my love life. I can’t forget my ex [my first REAL love], I like a guy I really can’t like! And I flirt to keep my attention diverted! I try every day to forget about my ex, he messed up a big part of my life and I know he isn’t worth my time! Then I try and stop thinking about the other guy. Let’s call him Jacob for all future references [he is really not Jacob!]. Jacob is great, amazing and also younger than me! A problem! I know nothing will ever happen between us, but he is stuck in my mind, every second forgetting him is replenished with even more thinking of him!
My mind is a mess and my heart even more. I will continue with my job hunt and hope and pray to get a job. But I promise myself now, if I ever neglect writing because of ANYTHING, hat thing has to go. I am a writer, in heart and soul!
Happy days bloggers. Hope your life’s are more controlled than mine!