So a few days ago, I got an idea to get a guest blog over here, just for a bit of ‘something new’ and I asked the most hilarious blogger I know… Mark, over at The Idiot Speaketh!
Here it comes… A incredibly funny story on outside views of South Africa!!
Hello South Africa! My name is Mark Pakulak and I am a self-professed Idiot that writes a humor blog at www.redriverpak.wordpress.com
I currently live in Texas, but have had the good fortune to be able to live and travel all around the world. I have not had the pleasure of visiting your great Country as of yet, but will hopefully be able to do so sometime in the future. My Father used to be a contractor with the US State Department and was able to spend a good deal of time in Cape Town and he has called it one of the greatest cities he has ever visited. He loved it so much that he sent for my Mother to join him, which she did, after the 3 week plane ride from the states. 🙂
While I am eager to visit your Country, let me share a few misconceptions that we have of South Africa here in the States.
First of all, there is the Shark Problem. We get tons of documentary shows on TV here that discuss shark attacks around the Globe, and it seems like 9 out of 10 shark attacks occur in South Africa. As I imagine it, you take your lives into your hands every day that you just walk out your front doors, because, if the shows are correct, you have Great White Sharks lurking behind every dark alley, abandoned houses, public swimming pools, and every bathtub in the Country! The fact that we have to fly, for 3 weeks, over some of the most shark-infested waters on the planet to get to South Africa does not help! 🙂
Another perception is your weather. I honestly don’t know if you use Celsius or Fahrenheit over there, but the thought is that South Africa is like 130 degrees (f), all day, every day. Hot! Hot! Hot!
And finally, thank you for providing the world with Charlize Theron! While we view Charlize and all South African ladies as true beauties of the planet, we also have a vision of all South African men as being huge, jealous, monster-sized men with no necks that play Rugby all day long, that are just looking to kill puny little Westerners that are there to drool over their women. So, to recap……
SHARKS! LOTS OF SHARKS!…..HOT! HOT! HOT!…..HOT WOMEN but HUGE NO-NECKED RUGBY PLAYING MONSTERS to protect them….. Personally, I can’t wait to get to S. Africa. I am busy building myself an air conditioned, shark-proof, and no-neck rugby playing monster-proof protective suit that I can wear while visiting.
It has been a pleasure befriending Marlize via her blog and I wish you all a great day!
Thanks Mark!! I loved this post and giggled the whole time I read it!
Btw… We don’t have THAT big a shark problem, we work in Celsius and in summer the highest is mostly 40… As for the men, some of them are SCRAWNY!!! 🙂 So I doubt you’ll need to be afraid of them!
Hope you enjoyed this post as much as I did and go visit the Idiot, I promise you it’s worth it!