A post for Free Write Friday, hosted by Kellie Elmore
Here is your FWF prompt:
I didn’t understand it then, but I understand it now…
Its one year now, since I had that miscarriage, and I haven’t written to you since that fateful day.
I was sad, I was depressed, I was worse than ever. I thought my life would end as well.
To me, that little baby meant a future with Paul, an existence, a glimpse at being a family, something I have never had before.
Paul said he was happy, that day when I peed on a stick. He smiled with me, went to the doctor with my, was happy with me. But a week before the miscarriage, something happened, something horrible, that I didn’t want to tell even you about, because I wanted it to be untrue.
Paul left. In the middle of the night, with a bag of clothes, all our money, most of the food and not even a note for me.
I cried. I wept. I took to the bed for about 3 days. Then I remembered my baby. I had to get up for her (I was so sure it was a girl), I had to live for her.
So I got up, got a second job, and then my girl also left the world.
I was devastated. I thought the whole world hated me, God had turned his back on me.
First my long term boyfriend deserts me in the middle of the night with a baby and no money. Then that baby also deserts me. Like she knew, even before she came into this world, that I was not worthy of her.
I kept hoping, Paul will come back for me, he has to, he loves me. He said so a million times, every day since we met, he told me he loved me, and four years later, on the verge of getting married, he left me. I was sure he would come back. But no. He stayed away…
I couldn’t understand what the world was trying to tell me, with all of this horrible things happening in my life. Then Jake walked into the coffee shop one day. A wonderful looking man, sweet, kind, gorgeous, and we fell in love, on first glance. It was everything Paul and I never were. I was so used to being the good, serving housewife type, it took my awhile to see how amazing it is to be taken care of, instead of taking care.
And now I’m engaged, and pregnant with a baby boy, due in five months…
Life worked out for me, diary, life turned itself around, and now instead of wondering why everything went wrong, I thank God that it did…
*Everything in this post is fiction…*
Hope you like it =]