Remembering who I am…

This past few weeks, months, I’ve gotten so carried away by life, by everything, that I forgot to take a second for myself…

And when I have a second, I numb my brain with music and books, to keep from thinking, because if I gave myself a few seconds of silence, I would’ve noticed, I’m busy losing me…

I’ve been described as a few things, most recently and frequently, crazy, but there is two things that always stood out, and when I heard them I thought, Yup, this is who and what I want to be for the rest of me.

The first one came from one of my first boyfriends’, he told me, almost daily, “you’re like a flower-child, I can’t look at you and NOT be happy.”

Then there was this one time when me and my SuzyPie weren’t as epicly good friends as we are today, and she told one of our other friends, in response to the question why she doesn’t like me, “she’s always bubbling, this jumping, happy-go-lucky giggly thing.” (or something like that) and this was supposed to be an insult, but I loved it… That some one who wasn’t in contact with me that much, thought of me as this extremely happy person, made me even happier…

But the last few weeks, I misplaced my inner flower-child, I don’t know exactly why or where, but I feel her seeping back into my system, slowly, inch by inch.

I realized that these things I fixate on, is making me crazy, stealing my happiness, kidnapping my flower-child.

So, I’ve made an active decision to not have bad things in my life, either change them, or lose them.

I need to get my flower-child back, I need to remember who I am, who I like myself to be.

Love always,

M*

 

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Miss 101!

So, Miss Alysia over here at this epic blog was follower number 101, and as I am still waiting for number 100 to reply on my guest blog offer, I asked her if she would like to contribute something, and boy did she deliver?!

Here is an amazing poem from the hands of Alysia!

Shadows Array
 
From the moonlight we see
 
Those who dwell within
 
Cross my heart and pray
 
It was just but him
 
I can see no more the light shining through
 
But feel the rain that bears I shall do
 
Standing there, just shadows array
 
Falling above from within the sky
 
From the sunshine we glimpse
 
Those that form the ray
 
Holding each breath
 
Hoping he would say
 
I can feel the heat burning right through
 
But sense him say that I did too
 
Standing there just shadows array
 
Falling above from within the sky
 
From the gathering we eye
 
Those that lie beneath
 
Placing what’s left
 
Nothing but wreath
 
I can hear the final words echoing through
 
But say to myself why is it you
 
Standing there just shadows array
 
Falling above from within the sky
written by alysia

Thank you, Alysia!!

 

5 Thing Friday! You should give it a try…

So the five things I felt the need to bring under your attention is things you should try, maybe not today, but SOON!!

  1. Pimms N0. 1 Cup – I tried this today (for the first time!) and fell in love. Head first, head over heels, in love. Gosh!!! It’s bloody Brilliant!!!Porch Swing; I pretty much just want to sip fancy fruity drinks by the pool and read with friends all summer long.
  2. Campari – On ice, with just a slice of lemon – This one got introduced to me by Robbie the Foreigner, and, fuck me, it’s amazing!! How I have missed this, my whole life, I haven’t the faintest. But now I have discovered it, and need it daily!!!Americano. This drink was a favorite of American expats during Prohibition. Prior to then it was known as the Milano-Torino, for the cities where its two main ingredients were first made: Milan (Campari) and Turin (sweet vermouth).
  3. Rainbow Rowell – I discovered Eleanor and Park by accident, and halfway through the book, I think I might just like Rainbow Rowell almost as much as John Green!Eleanor and Park by Rainbow Rowell
  4. Being strong… I don’t do this enough, and wish I could. But this week I seriously needed to put my big girl panties on, and be strong. And now, its almost a week, and I’m alive. Some People Think That To Be Strong Is To Never Feel Pain.
  5. Letting go and just enjoy… Letting your inner child take control and making memories, without thinking about the what if’s, the tomorrows, the maybes. Just doing, because it seems like a great idea.Inner Child - The secret of genius ... is to carry the Spirit of the Child into old age.

Lyrics to share…

So, I’m sitting here, with a lovely pizza, a nice cider and starting on my online writing course. And of course (along with alcohol and food) I need music. So I  put my playlist on shuffle and then this song comes on, and I’m in love…

I rediscovered Paramore when Robbie The Foreigner copied me the CD, and now I’m officially in love with them…

“Last Hope”

I don’t even know myself at all
I thought I would be happy by now
The more I try to push it
I realise – gotta let go of control

Gotta let it happen
Gotta let it happen
Gotta let it happen
Just let it happen

It’s just a spark
But it’s enough to keep me going
And when it’s dark out, no one’s around
It keeps glowing

Every night I try my best to dream
Tomorrow makes it better
Then I wake up to the cold reality
And not a thing has changed

But it will happen
Gotta let it happen
Gotta let it happen
Gotta let it happen

It’s just a spark
But it’s enough to keep me going
And when it’s dark out, no one’s around
It keeps glowing

It’s just a spark
But it’s enough to keep me going
And when it’s dark out, no one’s around
It keeps glowing

And the salt in my wounds isn’t burning anymore than it used to
It’s not that I don’t feel the pain, it’s just I’m not afraid of hurting anymore
And the blood in these veins isn’t pumping any less than it ever has
And that’s the hope I have, the only thing I know that’s keeping me alive

Alive

Gotta let it happen
Gotta let it happen
Gotta let it happen
Gotta let it happen

Gotta let it happen
Gotta let it happen
Gotta let it happen
Gotta let it happen

It’s just a spark
But it’s enough to keep me going
(So if I let go of control now, I can be strong)
And when it’s dark out, no one’s around
It keeps glowing

It’s just a spark
But it’s enough to keep me going
(So if I keep my eyes closed, with nobody home)
And when it’s dark out, no one’s around
It keeps glowing

Ahhh
Ahhh
Ahhh
Ahhh

Ohhh
Ohhh

It’s pure brilliance!!

Love always,

Marliz3e

People vs. Alcohol

Wow, that sounds like an extremely alcoholic title… But, stay with me for a second and you’ll understand.

Last night, struggling to enter the wonderful world of sleepiness, The Sister and I started comparing people to drinks, mostly alcoholic drinks, and it got quite interesting…

Here’s my list of comparisons, and the rather funny explanations… Also, this is a judge free zone, and meant to be funny…

  • The Sister – I have 2 comparisons for her, 1st – A nice glass of water – because I need it daily, a few times a day, and without it I would probably die. And 2nd – A Cosmo – Cute, perfectly made, and not much bite at first, but go on long enough and she will show you who’s boss
  • The Mother – A shot of Jagermeister – You’re not always in the mood for it, you don’t want it every day. And if you have to have it, you do it quickly. But then when it’s done, you realized it was not that bad
  • The Aunt and Uncle – The perfect bottle of Red – You struggle to find time for it, and when you have it, you try to savor every sip/second
  • The Neighbours (also known as the Best Friends) – A bottle of good bubbly – You can have it every day, on special occasions, for no reason, or for every reason. Just always good to have, and always there for you.
  • The Best Friend (also known as SweetyPie) – That perfect milkshake – You don’t get it everyday, but you get regular cravings for it, and when you have it, its wonderful =]
  • Robbie (also known as The Foreigner) – Jack Daniels on the Rocks (double of course) – It’s potent, it can knock you out, or keep you just on that happy level, and it’s best when you savor it, slowly and with care. It’s effect on you can be unpredictable, and the best way to enjoy it, is impulsively…
  • The 50 YO – Cheap rum – It’s not really good for anything except distraction and mindless entertainment when all other sources are out…
  • Me – A Gin and Tonic – Not to everyone’s taste. A bit different. Got a little bite to me. But if you like it (me) it’s the perfect thing after a long day… =D (and also, it’s my favorite drink, so why not) or that perfect cup of espresso –  a shock to the system, and only good if treated (made) right

So there’s my little funny ‘people are actually just drinks that came alive’-theory… Any comparisons of your own?

Feel free to play along =D

Love always,

Marliz3e

Monthly Recap – February and March 2014

So far, 2014 is my favourite year yet…

In January me and The Sister went on holiday, and I discovered how amazing being near the seaside could be for my soul. I now know, officially, that as soon as I am a famous published author, I want to move to the sea.

In February, I got a promotion, and now I’m a manager along side The Sister at the BEST restaurant/guesthouse I know of. Good pay, good hours, good people. And more time to write…

I also met, The Foreigner – who I’m now calling Robbie, as he reminds me of Robert Pattinson in Remember Me, and also, he is the last person on earth I would call Robbie. So that’s his name now. =D

During February and March, Robbie exposed me to some brilliant things, like the best Tuna Pasta I EVER had, how amazing Jack Daniels on the rocks can be, how much worth Italian coffee has, how difficult it can be to watch a movie and NOT break the predetermined rules, how important memories can be, that I suck at Air Hockey as well as Ten Pin Bowling, and mostly, no matter how much you tell yourself you are not going to fall in love, some times your heart just won’t listen.

But, he also taught me, perhaps without even knowing it, that I am an amazing young lady (or little girl) and I shouldn’t let anything come in the way of my future, as no one but myself can determine how my future looks like.

In March, I pushed some unwanted attention out of my life (now and further more known as The 50 YO) but, then he did something I will never forget, he helped me, financially, to get an Online Writing course…. So, now I am officially part of a writing course and I owe The 50 YO… Something that is both amazing and horrible at the same time, cause I hate owing people, especially him….

Other things that occurred…

– I discovered John Green, and fell in love with his books, his writing, his characters, his everything…

– I rediscovered how amazing Keane is, and now listen Somewhere Only We Know,  Sovereign Light Cafe and Everything Changes almost every day…

– I discovered Lucy Spraggan and Kacey Musgraves, both amazing singers and songwriters.

– I became an aunt!!! Well, sort of, our best friends, also known as The Neighbors, became parents to the cutest little boy!! And for me to fall in love with a baby is amazing, as I am not your best ‘baby-person’. Mostly, I like most cat’s more than any people.

– I learned that falling in love and being in love isn’t always the same thing…

– March turned out to be a great month, above all expectations, even if it’s not finished yet…

What was your favourite part of the year so far?

Love always,

Marliz3e