Writing is my curse…

I made myself belief I want to be a writer, years ago, I think I was in grade 10, and I stuck to that… I don’t usually stick to things, I jump in, head first, for a few days, sometimes even weeks, and then it sizzles out.

But writing… writing stuck…

I don’t know why, but whatever I’m feeling, writing helps that emotion. If I’m happy, and I write, I become happier. When I’m feeling a tad depro, and I write about it, it’s like the ink that flows onto the paper is my black mood, and when I’m done with that poem, flash fiction, letter, email, blog post, I feel better. I feel good.

And the weirdest part is, I write better when I’m sad, and I write sad stories a lot better than happy stories. Some head-doctor will try to diagnose that to something, but to me it just means I understand the sad part of my brain better than I do the happy part.

Because my happy-brain, she’s a bitch… She throws herself into things with no regrets and no handle on life. She jumps, no thinking about consequence or reason, because she is a flowerchild, a flowerchild who covers up the sadness, who magics away the blackness.

I’m probably crazy, I get that a lot, but writing helps with that craziness, writing takes a bit of it away, and sometimes puts a bit back. But mostly, writing is just an outlet for the crazy…

I tell myself, I write because I want to leave something behind, I want a legacy, or at least a shot at one… but I lie… I write because a new notebook and pen is way cheaper than a shrink and a prescription for antidepressants. And if, maybe, my writing one day means something, to some one else… yay… but at the moment, and most of the time, I write for selfish reasons. To help myself, and to get praise…

But this curse of writing, its something I don’t ever want to lose, or swap for anything. because it means so much to me…

Why do you write??

 

Love Always,

Marlize

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Tasting colours…

Hey!!!!!

I know, I know… I am way back into the dog box! But the PC is STILL messed up and I just can’t find time to post!!!!

So here follows another randomness update on my life!!

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I’m back into writing!!! I wrote one and a half short stories this week and I have been thinking about my Afrikaans novel A LOT!!! Once my PC is fixed I will try and finish of a chapter or two!

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I had a ‘badish’ work week! It is almost time for me to hear if I am officially appointed [I was on a 3 month probation term] and due to all this stress of wanting to be appointed, I am making STUPID mistakes… Nothing major, but big enough for me to fret about!!!

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One day last week [or sometime] SuzyPie and I went out for lunch and we came about the subject of colours… How would YOU describe colour to a blind person, a person born blind!

Imagine not knowing how the sky looks like, we take it for granted… Well we came up with a solution, a rather silly idea actually, but then again, all my ideas are! =]

Tasting colours…. Think about it for a moment… What colour do you taste while eating the following???

  • CandyFloss [pink]
  • Chocolate [brown]
  • Liqourice [black]
  • Grapes [purple]
  • Strawberries or cherries [red]
  • Bubblegum [blue]

Yes I know I am weird!

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Movies watched these past few days… Burlesque: Totally utterly STUNNING!!!!!!!! And yesterday we went to go see Love and other drugs: Kinda weird to start with, but once you get the feel of the movie it is really a beautiful love story!!! And there is no better actress than Anne Hathaway!!

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I went for a driving lesson in Sister’s car… I nearly killed half the town including us and then almost thrashing her car twice!!! I was never so nervous in my live!!!! I am clearly not ready for a drivers license!!!

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Me looking STUNNING in my antique sunglasses and pwetty hair! =]

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Oky, I am all out of news! As always I will promise to try and write more, but if I fail, I am not dead! =] I am just busy!!

Love =]

 

 

Playing around!!!

Get your mind out of the gutter! I mean playing around on Picasa! =]

I was thinking of posting something different and decided on photos, so I played around on Picasa, chose a few pics, edited them and came out with this!! =]

 

The view of the sunset at the farm, edited in Picasa

 

 

My doggy, Max!
I have no idea.... But it looks funky!

 

 

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[edited]”]

 

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So whactha think??

Lol, I am not the best photographer, nor editor. But I had so much fun!

Have a great day!!!

Oh, you didn’t miss me, did you???

FYI!!!!

This post was supposed to go up on FRIDAY!! But my computer is very very nasty with me and only works after heavy persuasion [a kick or five] and I only got it up TODAY!!!! So sorry

BTW, Mark, I do hope you feel better!

Wow… I almost appeared to drop of the face of the earth didn’t I?!?!

I am SO sorry, but it’s not like any one missed me =]

Let’s recap!!!

So, the weekend [last weekend] was ‘farm weekend’ with the work people!!

Well. Actually it wasn’t a real farm and we were more in the lake than in the bush! But it was fantastic!! I didn’t go to sleep till past two, the whole weekend!! And Saturday we ‘RAVED’ with my boss and his wife!! And his little ten-year old girl [my new favourite person ever] stayed up with us till one!! She is legendary…

The weekend was all about games, fishing [not me!!!!!!!!!], swimming, drinking and gossiping! I loved every single second of it!!

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Sunday I fell asleep the second I SAW my bed and I only turned on my PC Monday evening, when the thunder-storm attacked me!!! So that was another no go!

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Tuesday evening was our year-end function and we went to Turffontein to play horses! So wicked!! I had a few lucky strikes and was very lucky on my last horse ‘Formidable’ it was his first run and I played him for a win! And he WON!!!!!

Such an amazing feeling!

***

Wednesday night was ladies night with the Sister! We went for a movie and cocktails and reconnected a bit, the movie [a local production] sucked a bit, but that didn’t matter!

Once again I got home past ten!

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Thursday was my boss’s birthday and we went to Ocean Basket [not the best place for an anti-seafood person]. Before hand me and three of the ladies from work went for Cosmo’s!! And at Ocean Basket, we chilled there until ten!!! But it was such a great night! I was ‘initiated’  with a Women’s Revenge [some random shot] and I have never laughed so much!!!

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Today was a tiiiiiiiiiiiiiired day at work, we spent half the time lounging around and still got work done [wow] and now my main goal for the weekend is catching up on sleep, hopefully next week will be less busy!

But I will update on my journal, and post throughout the weekend, just to make you all sick of me, just incase I disappear again!! =]

Until I post again, here is a few photies!!! =]

 

 

Kerfuffle! =]

I HEART reading!!! See that word? ^ up there! KERFUFFLE, another word for chaos, I discovered it in Harry Potter 5 and it is officially my new favourite word! =] [I haven’t a clue what was my old favourite word!!]

But anywho, I am taking part in a soundtrack challenge! I discovered it HERE while reading my daily dose of Kellie!

basically copy the parts in black, put you playlist/iPod/computer on shuffle and list the first 18 songs in their number placing! [I do hope that made sense to YOU!] My songs are in this colour, and I am doing this as I type!!

Song #1: Opening Credits Summer of 69 [Bryan Adams]

Song #2: Waking Up Black Velvet [No Idea]

Song #3: 1st Day of School Coward of the county [Kenny Rogers] Very weird…

Song #4: Falling In Love Eh, Eh [Lady Gaga]

Song #5: Fight Song American Boy [Estelle & Kanye West]

Song #6: Breaking Up Lemon Tree [Fool’s Garden] Quite fitting!

Song #7: Prom Mercy [Duffy]

Song #8: Life Skater Boy [Avril Lavigne] LOL!

Song #9: Mental Breakdown Shot through the heart [Bon Jovi]

Song #10: Driving Please forgive me [Bryan Adams]

Song #11: Flashback Sexy Bitch [Akon] weird……

Song #12: Getting Back Together 8 World Wonder [Kimberly Locke]

Song #13: Wedding Everything Burns [Anastacia ft. Ben Moodley]

Song #14:  Birth of Child Boots were made for walking [Coyote ugly]

Song #15: Final Battle Brick by Boring Brick [Paramore] So the best!! =]

Song #16: Death Scene I will do anything for you [Meatloaf] wow…

Song #17: Funeral Scene Mine – Taylor Swift

Song #18: End credits My life would suck without you [Kelly Clarkson]

Lol, I promise you I did not cheat once! And that turned out so cool!

I am going away this weekend on a work function to the bosses farm! So I may be missing, but I am thinking of scheduling my journal posts!

Please, go visit my Truth Challenge-section and leave me a question! Challenge will start as soon as I have 30 questions!!

=]

Wishing on a shooting star…

Hey darling people!!

Magic Monday! That can only mean a few wishes is in order!!

  • I Wish… That I could eat chocolates without getting fat or toothaches!
  • I Wish… That I could talk to a boy without the whole world thinking I LIKE him!
  • I Wish… There was a way not to hurt others
  • I Wish… I knew you sooner

So… Lol, that is my silly wishes for my Monday…

I was under the full intention of posting my journal page and have taken the photo, but am to lazy, once a gain!!

But I promise not to be so lazy tomorrow!

Have a lovely day!!

Resolution update #1!

So as today is Sunday, I probably have to update you all on how I am doing on my resolutions….. Hmmmm…

 

  1. Write a little every day! Poems, flash fiction, fiction. Anything. Just write! Ummmm, yeah that didn’t work! I did write a poem today thought, or well three lines of a poem!
  2. Blog every day!! That semi-worked, until I decided I deserve Wednesdays of and suddenly grew lazy on Thursday! So no more off days! Blogging every day!
  3. Journal everyday, or every two days. But VERY regularly! This I did!! Yeah me….
  4. Stop fighting for no reason and admit when wrong…….. I think this worked, I handled all approaching conflict with an open mind and I think it worked!! Although me and sis did have a little ‘spat’ =]
  5. Read every day. Of course!!!!
  6. Postcross and pen pals, more regular!! Five letters and postcards still to be posted on my desk. Let’s make that an obvious no.
  7. Eat a bit healthier Semi worked, I didn’t eat junk food if that counts!
  8. EAT BREAKFAST!! I think I missed one day! Very good for me!
  9. exercise at least every other day ummmm, let me get back to you on this one! =]
  10. Go to bed by ten pm. I was in bed by ten most nights! Does that count?
  11. NO junk food… [I’m going to struggle here] YES!!!! So proud of myself!
  12. ONE sweet per week Two… But that is better than regular!
  13. Cut out ALL the negativity in my life, get rid off the ‘bad’ people, draw the ‘good’ ones closer. Almost there, just need to identify the bad ones!!
  14. Stop being negative!! I think I accomplished this….
  15. Do not suppress emotions. But DO think before speaking.  Done! I spoke my mind and it didn’t result in a fight! it turns out if I re-think something before saying it, it comes out way nicer!! =]

So, that was my resolutions….

I promise to give you all a journal page tomorrow, I am just way too lazy to take a pic now!! =]

Have a great day! But now it is ten to ten and I have to work tomorrow! =]