As I sit here snacking, I decided to divulge the details of my messed up brain, and the reasons why I don’t want to get married for as long as possible…
Like any normal girl in her right mind, I dream of big weddings and beautiful dresses, flowers, food and drunk dancing… But the part after that, the together forever part… I don’t really like it.
I am independent, or I like to think so… I love doing what I want on my time, IÂ enjoy making my own decisions and I really like going my own way. When I decide, you know what, I feel like going to LOndon, I want to get up, buy the ticket and go. I don’t want to consult with my ‘better half’. I don’t have to worry about spending ‘our’ money… It’s my money then.
I have my own views of life, I want to life them out. I want to spend days on end writing, eating when I get hungry, sleeping when I’m tired. Not worrying about making him food, leaving him alone in bed while I write.
And I think that’s one of the reasons I run away from commitments… I’m afraid I will really fall for him and he wants to marry me. And I can’t because then MY dreams of writer, traveller, artist will be gone…
Sure I would like the intimate parts, the some one to talk to parts and some one that dreams with you…
But until I find the right man… Not the perfect man, because the perfect man is some one every one loves, every one thinks is the dream. The right man for me has to understand who I am, what I want and how to deal with me…
Until I find THAT man, I’d rather just have fun and do what I want and when I want it…
So yeah… That’s just my point of view…
Love!
M
PS! I have a job interview tomorrow!! =]