What to believe…

The reasons I’m missing you, has nothing to do with the fact that you are not here, or that I fell in love, or that you are not contacting me.

Okay, it might have something to do with the lack of communication.

But mostly, it has to do with all the things you made me believe in. All the thing you made me believe about myself.

You made me believe that I am good, and that I deserve good things in life

You made me believe that Jack and music can fix almost anything (and now I crave Jack more than anything)

You made me believe that it is near impossible to wake up with out a good proper cup of coffee – a very expensive habit

You made me believe that words aren’t always needed, but that actions can’t always be trusted

You made me believe that I am better than dating a 50-year-old, just because he’s the only one interested.

You made me believe that I could actually write… well, you believed in me, and now I believe as well

And then you left… Now I’m not sure what to believe. Because for the first time in a very long time, I allowed myself to hope…

To hope that all you made me believe was true.

And now I’m pretty sure I was just a roadmarker on your way, and I’m okay with that.

I’m not happy, I’m not perfect, I’m not satisfied. but I’m okay.

Because this was a silly flirtation, and I was a fool, for believing in you… Of all the things I believed, that you actually cared, that was the most foolish one of them all.

I hope you miss the silly little girl, at least just a little bit. Because this is me, giving up on believing in you…

 

Ummm… Where’s the sandman!?!

It is currently 00:30 am… I am wide awake, I just redecorated my whole blog, and am now a but confused as to what I just did [if I get on here later I will probably think someone kidnapped my blog!!]

But then I noticed something, I haven’t posted a top ten yet today. So I pulled out the prompt for today and it said…

“10 things you like in a boy!”

Okay… Here goes nothing/everything!

  1. I wanna have fun! Even if we are dating seriously, I still wanna go about acting like a two-year old! That’s what I do… =]
  2. Texting me randomly. Although not that soppy ‘awwww I miss you’ stuff. RANDOMNESS!
  3. Nice hands [clean hands!]
  4. Pretty eyes. I don’t have a specific colour, it’s more like a ‘look’… [am I making any sense…?]
  5. Still giving me butterflies the hundredth time I see him
  6. Feeling save near him! [not like in a he’ll kill the world for me way. Just knowing I am save]
  7. We can talk. Actually talk all day!
  8. Not giving me weird looks when I am odd [or being odd with me]
  9. Some one who understands that I like books! [extra bonus points for feigning interest and double bonus for buying me books]
  10. Good taste in music!

I am not REALLY sure on what I based this list… Some dream guy non-existent, or maybe even HIM, but I know that the day I meet the guy meeting all the requirements on this list… Boy oh boy =] =]

Oh, I just found out a few things…

  1. I can not spell late at night!!
  2. My head hurts a lot at quarter to one
  3. I have to wake up in six hours
  4. I use pink TOO much in my blog
  5. I have the best friend!! [will blog later!]

Good night you all! I am going to hunt down the Sandman now!!

PS… Be glad I have spell check!! =] [please ignore bad grammar]