The Flower Child’s Song…

I look out my window

And see the sky

The trees

The birds

But I don’t see the beauty

I became used to the world around me

Assumed it will always be there

There is so much that can take it away

That can take you away

And me…

I take it for granted

This world around me

The smiling baby

The spring breeze

The smell of fresh coffee

The sound of your voice

I take for granted

A walk in the park

A good book

A sad movie

I take for granted

Myself

You

Us

I look out of my window

And I shed a tear

It is so wonderfully beautiful

to be alive

When spring comes alive

Around you

Within you

I wish you could see…

The apple blossoms

I wish you could hear…

The sparrow’s cry

I wish you could feel…

The sun on you skin,

The water in your face

I wish you could taste…

My spring touch

My summer kiss…

Photography by Alex BenetelInspiration found: http://media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com/736x/51/24/66/512466bd0d81b57d487d1726d22a6c5c.jpg

Letting In, Letting Go

If you let people into your life a little bit, they can be pretty damn amazing.

Sherman Alexie

I shared the above quote with a long-distance friend yesterday, thinking it will have the same meaning to him as it did to me when I first read it.

To me it said, open up and let go, don’t be so uptight to let people see who YOU are, because when they get to know you, you get to know them, and chances are, they will be pretty epic… Not every one, of course, because there is some peculiar assholes in existence. But most of us homo sapiens are not so bad!

His only response… NO

After a protest from my side, obviously, I told him, there is different ways to ‘let people in’

You don’t have to LOVE them, or even let them love you. You can share, you can care, you can remember the small things.

A random message during the day because some one suddenly saw something that reminded them of me, means so much more than a big gesture, or a routine ‘good morning’-message.

You can let people in by letting go. Letting go of your presumptions. Letting go of your prejudices. Stop being so uptight about yourself.

There is so many useless little things standing in our own way. Stopping us from being happy and letting people see who we are, who we want to be in this world.

My weekly goal is to be more open.

To learn 1 new thing about the people in my life, and actually letting it mean something to me.

My monthly goal is to get 1 new friend. To let new people into my life, to be open to the possibility.

What’s your way to let new people in?

What’s your reasons for not wanting people ‘in’?

An unexpected obstacle… – Flash Fiction

Why hello there, it’s been a while.

Well, here is a little on the spot flash fiction to tie you over while I get back into my writing groove.

This piece was inspired by a prompt on Today’s Author Write Now Prompt’s.

An unexpected obstacle

At last, she was getting out of this town. 

This little hick of a town was working on her last nerve. But, finally, she saved enough to up and go. And this was her last chance. Tomorrow she is suppose to marry Rick. Rick, the golden boy. Rick, the guy every one thought was perfect for her. Well, obviously, they have never been in an argument with him and had to hide the bruises for weeks on end.

This is it.

This is freedom.

She looks over her shoulder as she exits the coffee shop just across from the bus stop where her getaway car is awaiting the last passengers. Pretend carefree she walks across the street and look at some posters on the bus stop, with another glance around, she walks closer to the bus and with a last look over her shoulder she reaches out to grab onto the handle. But her hand is grabbed instead.

“Excuse me?!” she exclaims as she turns her head around and her breath stops in her throat.

William…

Her eyes grow big and she tries to shake the feeling off her back, he would never bust her. Not to Rick. But on the other hand, he does work for Rick. But, he has also seen the bruises, the abuse, the horror…

“Will, let me go.” She doesn’t ask, she demands. If Rick taught her one thing, it is to always act if you are going to get exactly what you want, then you will probably get it..

Instead of letting go, he gets out of the bus and take her with him, the grip on her forearm stronger than she expected from him,

“Elizah, you are not save.”

“I know! That is why I am running away. Now let me!”

“You don’t understand, he has people looking out for you, he thought you would do something like this. He had me waiting on the bus for you, and Darius is waiting at the airport.”

“You know, I am stronger than you think… I have a few tricks of my own.”

With a condescending glance to her side he laughs, “sure, E.” 

“Okay… So you got me. Now what.”

“Now we are running away.”

With a tug at her arm he leads her to his Chevy standing in an alley, gives her a big floppy hat and helps her into the car.

“To our future, love…”

“To the future…” she replies with a sneaky look in her eyes.

 

Be your own windkeeper

(Yes, I am currently re-watching Friends, for all who caught the reference)

^^ this was one of the best scene in season two! Then again, Friends is filled with wonderful scenes…

I watched this episode with the whole Windkeeper thing this morning. For those who don’t know what I’m talking about (please stop reading, I’m unfriending you ) just kidding, the whole theory is, women need to keep their own wind and stop men (the lightbearer) to steal the wind from their sails.

And, as incredibly stupid as it sounds, its true. We let men dictate our lives so easily, we dress to look good for them, we act the way we do, to impress them, we let them tell us what to do, when to do it. But we need to stop. We need to be our own Goddesses.

I had a point somewhere, but I keep getting distracted by the picture above, who would’ve guess Ross enjoyed ‘that’… Hee hee hee

That’s why I’m writing again.

To blow my own wind. I need to stop writing for him. I’ll probably always write about him, but I need to stop caring if he will read it, what he will think about it or who it will affect him. Because I am the most important person in my live, and so many people have tried to drill this thought into my head, two guys actually had me drunkenly crying a few weeks ago, because they tried to get me to see that I am amazing and need to embrace that.

Well, this is me, trying my best to be me to the fullest, not giving a crap about what any one thinks, because I am the most most important person in my live.

Thank you, for making me believe in my own epicness.

Love always,

Marlize

Wishing Wednesday…

Today I feel like I need a shooting star, or a meteor shower, or maybe a comet to the head…

Point is, there is some days where I just feel, maybe a wish is not gonna work, but wish anyway and see what happens…

So here is a few Wednesday Wishes, some silly, some real, most true.

  • I wish you were closer… Or at least reachable
  • I wish Daddy was a lot closer! Or, once again, reachable…
  • I wish I knew why I am sad so darn much
  • I wish I had more wine
  • I wish I could drink wine instead of water at work
  • I wish the copious amounts of water I am drinking instead of wine is gonna help with not going to the gym-issue
  • I wish I went to the gym more
  • I wish for a HUGE Four Cheeses Pizza, to share =] (#ReasonsIneedtogym!)
  • I wish my weekend dance partner contacts me
  • I also wish the extremely pretty girl in the pictures of him that I Facebook stalked is his sister
  • I wish for the new business to go to all heights
  • I wish my mom true true happiness
  • I wish myself and the sister more of that true true happiness
  • I wish for my muse to make her/his return and get this brain writing
  • I wish for my email server to collapse and delete all evidence of you/us, just to stop me from reading and rereading old emails.
  • I wish to not get over you, but to get used to not having you near by.
  • I wish I never get over you
  • I wish I meet some one as amazing as you, just with less issues
  • I wish my future winemaker husband (yes, he is completely unaware of the pending nuptials, and yes he actually has a GF,who I can’t wish into a sister) is the guy that will let me forget about you just 1%
  • I wish I was normal…  But then again, boring is normal…. I mean, normal is boring…
  • (Apparently, the water has a higher alcohol content than I thought…) =]

I hope that made sense to at least one person reading, because I lost track a while ago… =D

Any wishes for your Wednesday?

Love Always,

M

Top 10 things I miss most…

…now that I’m a ‘grown-up’

This post was gonna be about Him, you know who. But I grew a pair and realized there is things I miss more than the few things that accumulated in the 2 months in his company…

So, here is the top 10 things I miss most, now that I’m a ‘grown-up’, I’m using that term lightly, as I am a slightly childish person. I figure a grown-up as some one earning their own money, living in their own place (or with roommates, sister in my case) and making their own decisions.

  1. Having the washing done for you – the best part of living at home!
  2. Not needing to make decisions like do I need life insurance
  3. People accepting you dancing around in the rain, when you are 2 it’s cute, when you are 22, people think you are drunk
  4. Other people making decisions for you
  5. SCHOOL HOLIDAYS!!!
  6. Watching animation… There is a gap in every ones life between being a child and having a child that you can get judged at for sitting through Finding Nemo 10 times.
  7. Being scared, of the dark, of  a scary movie, of the noise against your window. You are an adult, deal with it.
  8. Having some one to kill the spiders and other creepers… (now I just put a plastic bowl on them and wait for some one else to get home.
  9. Getting jello when I’m sick, no questions asked
  10. Not getting judged when your ice cream falls and you want to cry a little.

There you have it… (I’m honestly considering the fact that I might be insane as I reread that list…)

What do you miss most??

Love always,

M

I can’t write…

I’m stuck, like an elephant in quick sand, I’m stuck.

Every time I sit in front of the PC, or pick up my journal, or try to edit my novel, or just think, okay now I’m just writing to get it out, every single time something stops me. Some one stops me.

You

The ghost of your presence

It’s horrible, quite honestly! I have always been able to write, since I realized that writing is my outlet, I wrote, about happy, about sad, about joy, about horror.

But since you left, I haven’t done much… Even my blog posts are up to shit…

I had a little (and by little I mean really big) breakdown last night and went into some unexplained hysterical crying fit, I was literally crying for 2 hours straight, with no motivation.  No explanation. Just a bottle of wine and really sad music, combine that with just a tad of PMS, and you have an uncontrollable girl, crying her eyes out alone in her flat…

Hopefully that bout of silliness got all of you out of my system, not because I want you out of my system, but it will probably be for the best…

Its horrible…

I will try writing (sense) again soon, till then, be good..

Love always,

M