Letting In, Letting Go

If you let people into your life a little bit, they can be pretty damn amazing.

Sherman Alexie

I shared the above quote with a long-distance friend yesterday, thinking it will have the same meaning to him as it did to me when I first read it.

To me it said, open up and let go, don’t be so uptight to let people see who YOU are, because when they get to know you, you get to know them, and chances are, they will be pretty epic… Not every one, of course, because there is some peculiar assholes in existence. But most of us homo sapiens are not so bad!

His only response… NO

After a protest from my side, obviously, I told him, there is different ways to ‘let people in’

You don’t have to LOVE them, or even let them love you. You can share, you can care, you can remember the small things.

A random message during the day because some one suddenly saw something that reminded them of me, means so much more than a big gesture, or a routine ‘good morning’-message.

You can let people in by letting go. Letting go of your presumptions. Letting go of your prejudices. Stop being so uptight about yourself.

There is so many useless little things standing in our own way. Stopping us from being happy and letting people see who we are, who we want to be in this world.

My weekly goal is to be more open.

To learn 1 new thing about the people in my life, and actually letting it mean something to me.

My monthly goal is to get 1 new friend. To let new people into my life, to be open to the possibility.

What’s your way to let new people in?

What’s your reasons for not wanting people ‘in’?

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Remembering who I am…

This past few weeks, months, I’ve gotten so carried away by life, by everything, that I forgot to take a second for myself…

And when I have a second, I numb my brain with music and books, to keep from thinking, because if I gave myself a few seconds of silence, I would’ve noticed, I’m busy losing me…

I’ve been described as a few things, most recently and frequently, crazy, but there is two things that always stood out, and when I heard them I thought, Yup, this is who and what I want to be for the rest of me.

The first one came from one of my first boyfriends’, he told me, almost daily, “you’re like a flower-child, I can’t look at you and NOT be happy.”

Then there was this one time when me and my SuzyPie weren’t as epicly good friends as we are today, and she told one of our other friends, in response to the question why she doesn’t like me, “she’s always bubbling, this jumping, happy-go-lucky giggly thing.” (or something like that) and this was supposed to be an insult, but I loved it… That some one who wasn’t in contact with me that much, thought of me as this extremely happy person, made me even happier…

But the last few weeks, I misplaced my inner flower-child, I don’t know exactly why or where, but I feel her seeping back into my system, slowly, inch by inch.

I realized that these things I fixate on, is making me crazy, stealing my happiness, kidnapping my flower-child.

So, I’ve made an active decision to not have bad things in my life, either change them, or lose them.

I need to get my flower-child back, I need to remember who I am, who I like myself to be.

Love always,

M*

 

People vs. Alcohol

Wow, that sounds like an extremely alcoholic title… But, stay with me for a second and you’ll understand.

Last night, struggling to enter the wonderful world of sleepiness, The Sister and I started comparing people to drinks, mostly alcoholic drinks, and it got quite interesting…

Here’s my list of comparisons, and the rather funny explanations… Also, this is a judge free zone, and meant to be funny…

  • The Sister – I have 2 comparisons for her, 1st – A nice glass of water – because I need it daily, a few times a day, and without it I would probably die. And 2nd – A Cosmo – Cute, perfectly made, and not much bite at first, but go on long enough and she will show you who’s boss
  • The Mother – A shot of Jagermeister – You’re not always in the mood for it, you don’t want it every day. And if you have to have it, you do it quickly. But then when it’s done, you realized it was not that bad
  • The Aunt and Uncle – The perfect bottle of Red – You struggle to find time for it, and when you have it, you try to savor every sip/second
  • The Neighbours (also known as the Best Friends) – A bottle of good bubbly – You can have it every day, on special occasions, for no reason, or for every reason. Just always good to have, and always there for you.
  • The Best Friend (also known as SweetyPie) – That perfect milkshake – You don’t get it everyday, but you get regular cravings for it, and when you have it, its wonderful =]
  • Robbie (also known as The Foreigner) – Jack Daniels on the Rocks (double of course) – It’s potent, it can knock you out, or keep you just on that happy level, and it’s best when you savor it, slowly and with care. It’s effect on you can be unpredictable, and the best way to enjoy it, is impulsively…
  • The 50 YO – Cheap rum – It’s not really good for anything except distraction and mindless entertainment when all other sources are out…
  • Me – A Gin and Tonic – Not to everyone’s taste. A bit different. Got a little bite to me. But if you like it (me) it’s the perfect thing after a long day… =D (and also, it’s my favorite drink, so why not) or that perfect cup of espresso –  a shock to the system, and only good if treated (made) right

So there’s my little funny ‘people are actually just drinks that came alive’-theory… Any comparisons of your own?

Feel free to play along =D

Love always,

Marliz3e

Monthly Recap – February and March 2014

So far, 2014 is my favourite year yet…

In January me and The Sister went on holiday, and I discovered how amazing being near the seaside could be for my soul. I now know, officially, that as soon as I am a famous published author, I want to move to the sea.

In February, I got a promotion, and now I’m a manager along side The Sister at the BEST restaurant/guesthouse I know of. Good pay, good hours, good people. And more time to write…

I also met, The Foreigner – who I’m now calling Robbie, as he reminds me of Robert Pattinson in Remember Me, and also, he is the last person on earth I would call Robbie. So that’s his name now. =D

During February and March, Robbie exposed me to some brilliant things, like the best Tuna Pasta I EVER had, how amazing Jack Daniels on the rocks can be, how much worth Italian coffee has, how difficult it can be to watch a movie and NOT break the predetermined rules, how important memories can be, that I suck at Air Hockey as well as Ten Pin Bowling, and mostly, no matter how much you tell yourself you are not going to fall in love, some times your heart just won’t listen.

But, he also taught me, perhaps without even knowing it, that I am an amazing young lady (or little girl) and I shouldn’t let anything come in the way of my future, as no one but myself can determine how my future looks like.

In March, I pushed some unwanted attention out of my life (now and further more known as The 50 YO) but, then he did something I will never forget, he helped me, financially, to get an Online Writing course…. So, now I am officially part of a writing course and I owe The 50 YO… Something that is both amazing and horrible at the same time, cause I hate owing people, especially him….

Other things that occurred…

– I discovered John Green, and fell in love with his books, his writing, his characters, his everything…

– I rediscovered how amazing Keane is, and now listen Somewhere Only We Know,  Sovereign Light Cafe and Everything Changes almost every day…

– I discovered Lucy Spraggan and Kacey Musgraves, both amazing singers and songwriters.

– I became an aunt!!! Well, sort of, our best friends, also known as The Neighbors, became parents to the cutest little boy!! And for me to fall in love with a baby is amazing, as I am not your best ‘baby-person’. Mostly, I like most cat’s more than any people.

– I learned that falling in love and being in love isn’t always the same thing…

– March turned out to be a great month, above all expectations, even if it’s not finished yet…

What was your favourite part of the year so far?

Love always,

Marliz3e

 

 

Too good to be true

That’s sorta how I feel today…
Not in a bad way, or in a depro way, or even aimed at just one thing…
There is just so many good, fun things in my life at the moment, that I can’t help but sit and wait in anticipation for the shit-creek to hit me…

And in this mood even the baddish things, don’t seem so bad…

The good, happy, fun things include…
– Salary increase
– New car for The Sister
– Discovery of great new music
– Discovery of new movies
– Writing almost daily, even if its just a poem, or a letter, or one chapter in the ever evolving novel…
– Watching movies with good company
– Having semi-adult ‘sleepovers’ =]
– Being…
– Losing weight, slowly but surely
– Dyeing my hair

The bad things, that seems not so bad in the hazy golden glow of happiness…
– Being used by someone twice my age (and kinda kicking him out of my life… Which would explain how this seems ‘not so bad’)
– Knowing my movie-watching company is going back home soon…
– Not feeling all that ‘pretty’ these days
– Seeing The Sister sorta sad about lost-and-found love
– Not writing as much as I want to
– Financial issues with The Mother that just never seem to get finished…
– Not getting any compliments on the newly dyed hair

As I’m reading these over I realize how very ‘high school’ I sound, but then again. That was a simpler time, when salaries and groceries and work haven’t made an appearance yet. Now I’m sitting at work, writing and being happier than I ever was in high school…
And I think its simply because I don’t allow the little things in life screw me up anymore. I go with it.
Yes, some days I will drink too much Jack, and lose about 3 hours in which I (apparently) freak out about all the little things. But in my general, daily happiness, I don’t let these things have an effect on my. Because I am ruling this life of mine.
This is my movie, and my script won’t allow it…

Find something to be happy about today.
That two seconds of smile, of childish happiness, is so amazing, it could just change your whole day around…

Love always,
Marliz3e

See, just, see…

It takes time,

it can be awhile…

But eventually

You will see…

I was there

Ready to fall

to pieces.

Wrong time, wrong place

I guess

But I can see.

Maybe I was foolish.

Simple, to pretend.

But I once heard

We are fated to pretend.

To do as is expected

To not care

But this is me,

Calling bullshit.

Every action,

I can see a little care.

Every word,

I can see a little care.

You care.

You care much more

Than you are able to pretend away…

I try to see.

I try to pretend.

Mostly I just pretend to see…

Trying to discover me

I haven’t blogged in ages…

But I don’t feel guilty, because I didn’t have anything to say. So I would’ve just babbled for the sake of babbling (and we all know I like to babble)

So I guess me writing this means I have something to say?

Correct!

I have discovered a few things about my self since the start of 2014 and I thought I have to write them down, as this blog is as much for me as for who ever is reading this hole in the web…

  • I love falling in love. With everything…
  • I am, apparently, an emotional self-mutilator, because as mentioned above, I love falling in love…
  • A taste for Jack Daniels, Italian coffee, frozen yogurt and cereal for breakfast has been developed.
  • I write a lot better than I think I do (and I have the pride to say it now. I still don’t think I’m the best thing since JK Rowling, but at least I believe in myself now)
  • Too little people understand the fun and art of old-fashioned letter writing.
  • Sleep and reading is two very very real addictions
  • And, lastly, I don’t want to fall in love…

*bombshell* 🙂

Try making sense of that, internet…

Love always,

Marlize