Hello, my name is Mark. Many of you know me as “The Idiot” who writes the blog The Idiot Speaketh. Marlize has asked me to write a guest blog for her, for about the 12th time this year, which of course, I am always happy to do for her. [I am sure it is not THAT much, and if it is. Then it is his own fault for commenting so much . But don’t stop!!]
Marlize, like most 19yr old women, is having a few issues in the “guy” department at the moment.
While Johan is her physical father…
I am her online Father… [he truly is…]
And if you are a living and breathing South African male in the 18-23 [one of them is 24, does that include him in the hit list?] yr old range, and you happen to hurt my online daughter Marlize…. I WILL hunt you down and will HURT you!!
Marlize is one of the happiest, upbeat, and most positive women you will ever hope to encounter. [awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww]She loves to laugh and giggle. If you are unable to make her laugh, you might as well leave now. You will never be worthy of her, and if you truly do not make her laugh, I WILL hunt you down and will HURT you.
She is very devoted to her family. She has a loving Mother, Father, and older Sister. All are excellent rugby players. I have it on good authority that the sister and Mother both crippled men in the past during particularly rough rugby matches. Translation: If you hurt Marlize, her family WILL hunt you down and will HURT you.
She has an office full of co-workers that all love and adore Marlize. Marlize is way too professional to get tangled in a relationship with a co-worker, so if you are a co-worker, and you have any dreams along that line, you might as well give up now. If not, you know the drill, I WILL hunt you down and will HURT you!
Marlize will make one of you an excellent girlfriend. She will probably be the best girlfriend you will ever have. But just know this…..
She chats with me often…
and will tell me everything….
yes…everything…. [LOL, this is true…]
I have many friends and have many resources at my disposal.
Even though I am thousands of miles away…
I WILL hunt you down and will HURT you.
Make my little girl happy!
Or else!!
Sincerely,
The Idiot (Marlize’s Online Dad) [I love this post soooo much!]
[Thanks Mark! This post was accounted to the fact that Mark was my 950th commenter, which means the next one is BIG!!! A 1000 comments… =] All remarks in THIS colour is my opinion]